[email protected] Publish time 2015-5-27 18:57:59

Xcution12 replied at 2015-5-28 00:48 static/image/common/back.gif
also watching tht XD i cant keep focus on 1 anime for a certain amount of eps then i switch to wat ...

focus!!!! hahahah well goodnight

Ragnos Publish time 2015-5-27 19:43:17

Dakara, ōku no erā! (So many errors!) I noticed that you had quite a few spelling errors. Along with some sentence fragments, and run-ons. Your on the right track though.

awesomeprussia1 Publish time 2015-5-27 19:49:54

Ragnos replied at 2015-5-27 19:43 static/image/common/back.gif
Dakara, ōku no erā! (So many errors!) I noticed that you had quite a few spelling errors. Along wi ...

ummm can you tell me the word that I missed so I can fix them please http://emoticoner.com/files/emoticons/rice_ball/rice-ball-smiley-02.gif?1302020563 *works on chapter*

Ragnos Publish time 2015-5-27 19:59:42

Edited by Ragnos at 2015-5-27 19:09

Oriheme needs capitalization at a few parts.(in fact head back through and Capitalize all names.) "Where" in first sentence needs to be "were". Earth needs capitalization.  All words at the begining of new sentances needs to be capitalized.  (since it's the beginning of a new sentence) "wile" needs to be "while".
The "Back to Oriheme and Ichigo" needs to be in (parentheses). "WACH" needs to be "WATCH". "franticly" needs to be "frantically". Some I's need capitalization.

That's all the spelling errors I could find. the sentences and Run-ons will have to wait.

awesomeprussia1 Publish time 2015-5-27 20:02:40

Ragnos replied at 2015-5-27 19:59 static/image/common/back.gif
Oriheme needs capitalization at a few parts.(in fact head back through and Capitalize all names.) "W ...

nein gott now I feel stupid

pavan93 Publish time 2015-6-1 23:11:41

i am dud at reading manga dude if you don't feel bad make it in video i like video watch than manga reading

[email protected] Publish time 2015-6-2 06:12:29

well i had to edit for ya.
my edit skill isnt prefect



One day Ichigo and Orihime is on a mission to destroy hollows that came to earth. While that was going on, the axis from Hetalia whose on training because of Germany. Back to Ichigo and Orihime "ICHIGO WATCH OUT!" Orihime yelled, While a hollow snuck up behind him and while Ichigo had to deal with that there was a hollow inching its way behind her. as soon as they where going to attack the hollows they got transported to a strange odd place that looked like a blank plan of grass and trees. now back to Hetalia "Germany Germany im lost I don't know where I am-a" Italy yelled. they where already in the same place as Ichigo and Orihime. Ichigo heard what sounded like two of his other friends chad and Rukia. he ran to the sounds and saw Chad and Rukia. "what happened where are we?" Rukia asked Ichigo frantically "i don't know" Ichigo said then Orihime came running to Ichigo "Ichigo please don't leave me alone out in the open again" she said "Germany Germany where are-a you at-a?!" they heard an Italian voice. than the Italian   ran into Ichigo`s back and fell over  "please-a don't kill me-a please please-a please im-a not very good-a to kill you-a wouldn't want to kill-a me please!!!" the Italian cried. later on the German came to wear Italy was at to see Italy crying and pleading for help and mercy and Ichigo,Orihime,chad,and Rukia sweat dropping. "oh Italia" Germany face palmed "im sorry about him crying he just gets too worried at times" Germany said and went to Italy then they heard a certain Prussian nearby "im awesome so suck it loser" he said "oh bloody Prussia your not awesome you twit" a England said as they walked to wear the six where "hello little brother!" Prussia cooed "hey I have a question why are we hear?!" England asked "i don't know why we are here" Chad said "maybe we have to do something to get out of this place" Ichigo said "THAT`S RIGHT YOUNG ONE" the person named Tamaki yelled (hes from dead man wonderland) from a TV screen "now you have to do something to get out of here and return to your places but im not telling you what just yet *evil giggle*" they all looked up...............
TO BE CONTINUED

awesomeprussia1 Publish time 2015-6-2 14:48:18

[email protected] replied at 2015-6-2 06:12 static/image/common/back.gif
well i had to edit for ya.
my edit skill isnt prefect



would you like to help me write this story please!
Pages: 1 2 3 [4]
View full version: hetalia and bleach in the same world