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Title: the pearls and hidden soul - part 2 [Print this page]

author: SeiryuSky time: 2015-6-14 18:06:59 Title: the pearls and hidden soul - part 2

continuing his way all over the sea on a lil peace of wood , lying like a bottle floating , and a necklace , a gold one glowing in the dark , shining and waiting for the time to awaken , will he survive ? the questions are , let the words show you the truth and lies :
nights have passed , and the baby crying , his life , his childhood have been destroyed , only with a necklace around his neck , protecting him from any danger . is it luck ? or is it its power ? we shall discover , the son of the killed emperor look at his guards , with his eyes holding darkness of his soul , he look at them and stand then drew his sword and said : you know this sword is really beautiful , isn't it ? the guards remain silent , katara get near one of them and smiles only for the guard to fall with dark blood around his heart and the sword absorbing the blood covering it , the guards started trembeling , he look at them , with his smile , the smile of death and reassure them , his sword , called " akuma ryu no ken " was said to have the power when pierced in the body of the enemy to reach the depth of his soul and curse it , only for his dark claws to show in it and eat it , it is said that the dark soul of the god-like dragon was sealed in that sword , being able to pass through anything , awakening the " kage no geijutsu " , the art of rulling over shdows and curses , that sword was supposed to kill his little brother , amadai , so the emperial chair will be for him alone and he will be the only successor , because no one know yet from the high council of the 7 lords who was responsible of this incident and who killed the emperor . meanwhile a storm was getting near from the little baby who was freezing from the cold , when it arrived the piece of wood started to sink under the water along with the child , the kid faling into the sea , closed his eyes not knowing what is happening , not knowing death finally caught him ... or is it really the end ? who knows ... reaching a high depth the baby open his mouth only for the water to enter his mouth , then his lungs and being his end . SUDDENLY , a hand pull off the baby from water , from the deep water , and saves him from death again , while the kid lost his consciouness , the storm was gone , he opens his eyes , getting his life back thanks to the man who pulled him , it was a stranger , an unknown man , never seen in the empire before , the necklace glowed , the reason being unknown the man looked at the baby laughing , only for him to laugh with him . at that time THE GUARDS ENTERED TO katara's room telliung him they didn't find the baby but telling him the story of the little kif they left in the sea , katara pissed off look at them taking his sword out and killing all three and sending them to the shadows where their soul is transformed to the guardians of shadows , looking nervous , he was smiling in fact , he knew that was going to happen ... that is because he planned for that , but what was his intention . did he really have mercy for his little brother ? or was it for another thing , and why the necklace glowed when the baby waked up , what is the secret between all those facts .... that's where mystery begins , where lies and truth get mysterious ....

P.S : hope you liked 2nd chapter

i am gonna make 3rd chapter if i got enough reads and likes ( 3-4 likes are enough )

author: Chkval time: 2015-6-14 18:22:42

spacing mate, spacing. Feels like reading a never ending sentence.

Spoilers: they all die in the end

author: SeiryuSky time: 2015-6-14 18:24:16

Chkval replied at 2015-6-14 18:22
spacing mate, spacing. Feels like reading a never ending sentence.

Spoilers: they all die in the en ...

well no they will not die lel and no need for spacing cz even if there is you won't read it cz it will be longer

author: SeiryuSky time: 2015-6-14 18:26:51

Chkval replied at 2015-6-14 18:27
Nope, got too much attached to the story. Wow, such words, much epicness. Even Doge agrees

...

lolz you have A ZOO well sirnibbles had a snake in home , right nibles ? XD

author: Chkval time: 2015-6-14 18:27:22

SeiryuSky replied at 2015-6-15 01:24
well no they will not die lel and no need for spacing cz even if there is you won't read it cz it ...

Nope, got too much attached to the story. Wow, such words, much epicness. Even Doge agrees

author: sirnibbles time: 2015-6-14 18:27:38

SeiryuSky replied at 2015-6-14 18:26
lolz you have A ZOO well sirnibbles had a snake in home , right nibles ? XD

used to

used to be 2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 guinea pigs and a snake

now it's 3 dogs, 2 cats

author: Chkval time: 2015-6-14 18:27:58

SeiryuSky replied at 2015-6-15 01:26
lolz you have A ZOO well sirnibbles had a snake in home , right nibles ? XD

check Doge meme on google, you'll understand

author: SeiryuSky time: 2015-6-14 18:29:57

Chkval replied at 2015-6-14 18:27
check Doge meme on google, you'll understand

XD lolz now i understand

author: SeiryuSky time: 2015-6-14 18:30:48

sirnibbles replied at 2015-6-14 18:27
used to

used to be 2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 guinea pigs and a snake

lolz was it your zoo that the animals got put today in georgia ?

author: sirnibbles time: 2015-6-14 18:32:28

SeiryuSky replied at 2015-6-14 18:30
lolz was it your zoo that the animals got put today in georgia ?

haha nope

don't think we can handle anymore due to our 3rd dog

he's a rioty doge

author: Chkval time: 2015-6-14 18:34:09

sirnibbles replied at 2015-6-15 01:27
used to

used to be 2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 guinea pigs and a snake

I bet the 2 guinea pigs ganged up on the snake and devoured it. Then the cats were like, too much action here, let's put down these mofos.

And that was it.

author: SeiryuSky time: 2015-6-14 18:35:16

Chkval replied at 2015-6-14 18:34
I bet the 2 guinea pigs ganged up on the snake and devoured it. Then the cats were like, too much ...

yeah world war III XD

author: sirnibbles time: 2015-6-14 18:35:45

Chkval replied at 2015-6-14 18:34
I bet the 2 guinea pigs ganged up on the snake and devoured it. Then the cats were like, too much ...

XD i wish, that would've been epic

nope the snake died 3 days before Christmas...

then New Years eve one of the guinea pigs died, then on New Years the other did

it was a bad week and a half

but it was kinda funny cuz the guinea pig literally died from grief

plus one of the cats doesn't care enough to do that and the other is too lazy lql

author: SeiryuSky time: 2015-6-14 18:36:12

sirnibbles replied at 2015-6-14 18:32
haha nope

don't think we can handle anymore due to our 3rd dog

use your powers you emperor of mystic cats to control over your zoo XD BTW now returning to topic whta do you think ?

author: sirnibbles time: 2015-6-14 18:38:06

SeiryuSky replied at 2015-6-14 18:36
use your powers you emperor of mystic cats to control over your zoo XD BTW now returning to topic ...

but i'm the emperor of cats...and they don't even listen to me

i was just petting the huge one 5 minutes ago and he just bit me for no reason

like i didn't even stop petting him he just tried to eat my hand
he likes to eat eveything

and it was okay, just put paragraphs and correct spelling/punctuation

author: Chkval time: 2015-6-14 18:39:52

sirnibbles replied at 2015-6-15 01:35
XD i wish, that would've been epic

nope the snake died 3 days before Christmas...

Dafuq did go wrong in that week and a half. Did the snake realize voldemort was chopped by hairy potter, and cried itself to eternal sleep.

But the guinea pigs must have been still mourning Eddard Stark's death. The North Remembers after all.

Cats are more like Lannisters, they always pay their debts

author: SeiryuSky time: 2015-6-14 18:40:44

sirnibbles replied at 2015-6-14 18:38
but i'm the emperor of cats...and they don't even listen to me

i was just petting the huge one 5 m ...

as i said hey are stupid you can't control cats with no brains XD you are smart cat you can browse on internet XD and BTW how did you read it all in that time O.O i think you saw it too big , skip , skip , skip... okay just put them in paragraphs

author: sirnibbles time: 2015-6-14 18:53:30

Chkval replied at 2015-6-14 18:39
Dafuq did go wrong in that week and a half. Did the snake realize voldemort was chopped by hairy p ...

probably Ebola

author: Chkval time: 2015-6-14 18:54:16

sirnibbles replied at 2015-6-15 01:53
probably Ebola

Nasty stuff. Where do u live in though

author: sirnibbles time: 2015-6-14 18:57:10

Chkval replied at 2015-6-14 18:54
Nasty stuff. Where do u live in though

XD good-ol Gogah

author: Chkval time: 2015-6-14 18:59:40

sirnibbles replied at 2015-6-15 01:57
XD good-ol Gogah

is that in my backyard? was wondering how a zoo got installed there out of nowhere

author: sirnibbles time: 2015-6-14 19:01:00

Chkval replied at 2015-6-14 18:59
is that in my backyard? was wondering how a zoo got installed there out of nowhere

are you in Georgia?

author: Chkval time: 2015-6-14 19:02:47

sirnibbles replied at 2015-6-15 02:01
are you in Georgia?

Georgia, Us or Stalin's Georgia. hmm quit a bit of difference between the two

Nah, i'm from the Middle East, which should actually be referred to as the Near East. But potato, potatoe. Nobody cares

author: sirnibbles time: 2015-6-14 19:04:14

Chkval replied at 2015-6-14 19:02
Georgia, Us or Stalin's Georgia. hmm quit a bit of difference between the two

Nah, i'm from th ...

eh they aren't that far away...i'm in US

only like 6000 miles

and right? i've always wondered why people call it the middle east...isn't that middle

author: SeiryuSky time: 2015-6-14 19:04:15

Chkval replied at 2015-6-14 19:02
Georgia, Us or Stalin's Georgia. hmm quit a bit of difference between the two

Nah, i'm from th ...

lolz

well nibbles is .... :

#Eternal F2P XD

author: Chkval time: 2015-6-14 19:05:13

SeiryuSky replied at 2015-6-15 02:04
lolz well nibbles is .... :

#Eternal F2P XD

Can't blame the guy, wise beyond his years.

author: Chkval time: 2015-6-14 19:07:53

sirnibbles replied at 2015-6-15 02:04
eh they aren't that far away...i'm in US

only like 6000 miles

Always been called middle, since it fits the middle of shit. Too bad for east though, should feel a bit offended

author: sirnibbles time: 2015-6-14 19:19:04

SeiryuSky replied at 2015-6-14 19:04
lolz well nibbles is .... :

#Eternal F2P XD

lql you did it wrong

it's #EternalF2P

author: SeiryuSky time: 2015-6-14 19:20:25

sirnibbles replied at 2015-6-14 19:19
lql you did it wrong

it's #EternalF2P

much difference lol

author: SeiryuSky time: 2015-6-15 04:41:18

you guys are either lazy to read or lazy to reply WTH XD

author: Chkval time: 2015-6-15 04:54:00

SeiryuSky replied at 2015-6-15 11:41
you guys are either lazy to read or lazy to reply WTH XD

was first to reply

well if u want my advice, start developing the story more. For example, instead of killing all humanity in chapter 1, you could've set the building stones with a little bit of description and scene drawing, and then kill all humanity in chapter 2.

But for now, work on developing what comes next more. Learn from Eiichiro Oda. It's about the journey and not the destination

author: SeiryuSky time: 2015-6-15 04:58:33

Chkval replied at 2015-6-15 04:54
was first to reply

well if u want my advice, start developing the story more. For example, instea ...

well in fact i din kill humanity you just need to wait there is a lot of plot twist what you're seeing is nto the begining of the story yet it is an introduction

author: Chkval time: 2015-6-15 05:01:46

SeiryuSky replied at 2015-6-15 11:58
well in fact i din kill humanity you just need to wait there is a lot of plot twist what you're se ...

more development, more scenes, more dialogues, more monologues, etc etc

Even an intro needs more of these

author: SeiryuSky time: 2015-6-15 05:06:42

Chkval replied at 2015-6-15 05:01
more development, more scenes, more dialogues, more monologues, etc etc

Even an intro needs more ...

nah intro is what you see before chapter 1 in a story starts it is like 2 pages with a summary of what happened before a short one , if i put a lot of scenes and dialogues in it mean the story already started , like all books it should be just to tell the story of the past in a fast way in the least developpement possible so the reader don't get bored and enter the story fast without understanding

author: Chkval time: 2015-6-15 05:25:28

SeiryuSky replied at 2015-6-15 12:06
nah intro is what you see before chapter 1 in a story starts it is like 2 pages with a summary of ...

Gotta disagree with you, i like details.

Anw, your story, your rules

author: SeiryuSky time: 2015-6-15 05:38:35

Chkval replied at 2015-6-15 05:25
Gotta disagree with you, i like details.

Anw, your story, your rules

well yeah i do like details anyway most of ppl here dun you know i should follow what most of ppl like

anyway now the introduction nearly finished only 1 part then i start in chapter 1

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