the pearls and hidden soul - part 2

SeiryuSky

continuing his way all over the sea on a lil peace of wood , lying like a bottle floating , and a necklace , a gold one glowing in the dark , shining and waiting for the time to awaken , will he survive ? the questions are , let the words show you the truth and lies :
nights have passed , and the baby crying , his life , his childhood have been destroyed , only with a necklace around his neck , protecting him from any danger . is it luck ? or is it its power ? we shall discover , the son of the killed emperor look at his guards , with his eyes holding darkness of his soul , he look at them and stand then drew his sword and said : you know this sword is really beautiful , isn't it ? the guards remain silent , katara get near one of them and smiles only for the guard to fall with dark blood around his heart and the sword absorbing the blood covering it , the guards started trembeling , he look at them , with his smile , the smile of death and reassure them , his sword , called " akuma ryu no ken " was said to have the power when pierced in the body of the enemy to reach the depth of his soul and curse it , only for his dark claws to show in it and eat it , it is said that the dark soul of the god-like dragon was sealed in that sword , being able to pass through anything , awakening the " kage no geijutsu " , the art of rulling over shdows and curses , that sword was supposed to kill his little brother , amadai , so the emperial chair will be for him alone and he will be the only successor , because no one know yet from the high council of the 7 lords who was responsible of this incident and who killed the emperor . meanwhile a storm was getting near from the little baby who was freezing from the cold , when it arrived the piece of wood started to sink under the water along with the child , the kid faling into the sea , closed his eyes not knowing what is happening , not knowing death finally caught him ... or is it really the end ? who knows ... reaching a high depth the baby open his mouth only for the water to enter his mouth , then his lungs and being his end . SUDDENLY , a hand pull off the baby from water , from the deep water , and saves him from death again , while the kid lost his consciouness , the storm was gone , he opens his eyes , getting his life back thanks to the man who pulled him , it was a stranger , an unknown man , never seen in the empire before , the necklace glowed , the reason being unknown the man looked at the baby laughing , only for him to laugh with him . at that time THE GUARDS ENTERED TO katara's room telliung him they didn't find the baby but telling him the story of the little kif they left in the sea , katara pissed off look at them taking his sword out and killing all three and sending them to the shadows where their soul is transformed to the guardians of shadows , looking nervous , he was smiling in fact , he knew that was going to happen ...  that is because he planned for that , but what was his intention . did he really have mercy for his little brother ? or was it for another thing , and why the necklace glowed when the baby waked up , what is the secret between all those facts .... that's where mystery begins , where lies and truth get mysterious ....

P.S : hope you liked 2nd chapter i am gonna make 3rd chapter if i got enough reads and likes ( 3-4 likes are enough )

SeiryuSky

Chkval replied at 2015-6-15 05:25
Gotta disagree with you, i like details.

Anw, your story, your rules

well yeah i do like details anyway most of ppl here dun you know i should follow what most of ppl like anyway now the introduction nearly finished only 1 part then i start in chapter 1

Chkval

SeiryuSky replied at 2015-6-15 12:06
nah intro is what you see before chapter 1 in a story starts  it is like 2 pages with a summary of ...

Gotta disagree with you, i like details.

Anw, your story, your rules

SeiryuSky

Chkval replied at 2015-6-15 05:01
more development, more scenes, more dialogues, more monologues, etc etc

Even an intro needs more  ...

nah intro is what you see before chapter 1 in a story starts  it is like 2 pages with a summary of what happened before a short one , if i put a lot of scenes and dialogues in it mean the story already started , like all books it should be just to tell the story of the past in a fast way in the least developpement possible so the reader don't get bored and enter the story fast without understanding

Chkval

SeiryuSky replied at 2015-6-15 11:58
well in fact i din kill humanity you just need to wait there is a lot of plot twist what you're se ...

more development, more scenes, more dialogues, more monologues, etc etc

Even an intro needs more of these

SeiryuSky

Chkval replied at 2015-6-15 04:54
was first to reply

well if u want my advice, start developing the story more. For example, instea ...

well in fact i din kill humanity you just need to wait there is a lot of plot twist what you're seeing is nto the begining of the story yet it is an introduction

Chkval

SeiryuSky replied at 2015-6-15 11:41
you guys are either lazy to read or lazy to reply WTH XD

was first to reply

well if u want my advice, start developing the story more. For example, instead of killing all humanity in chapter 1, you could've set the building stones with a little bit of description and scene drawing, and then kill all humanity in chapter 2.

But for now, work on developing what comes next more. Learn from Eiichiro Oda. It's about the journey and not the destination

SeiryuSky

you guys are either lazy to read or lazy to reply WTH XD

SeiryuSky

sirnibbles replied at 2015-6-14 19:19
lql you did it wrong

it's #EternalF2P

much difference lol

sirnibbles

SeiryuSky replied at 2015-6-14 19:04
lolz  well nibbles is .... :

#Eternal F2P XD

lql you did it wrong

it's #EternalF2P